This quote that I saw today was so relevant to me. I feel like I see quotes sometimes and you just get so much clarity on something that has happened to you.
“Burn the bridges that lead back to your old way of living”
- Today, I Choose Forgiveness, and I hope that’s enough. Today, I am letting go of the hope that the past could ever be changed or any different. I am realizing and accepting that everything has unfolded exactly the way it was supposed to in order to afford me the wonderful opportunity to learn a great lesson and to become more in tune with my self. I am finally understanding why this happened. Not only to teach me to appreciate what I have while its great, but to also help me to learn to recognize when I deserve better. I can give the best I have but I also need to know that I deserve to get the best as well.
- I forgive myself for sharing too much with others about my breakup. Not on this platform but in real life. I forgive myself for hurting my best friend. That is a loss that I truly regret, but I also understand their need to let me go to save their hearts. I forgive myself for breaking up with my ex over text. No, I am not a narcissist, but I am a young and immature girl who needed to learn the best ways to communicate my pain and suffering and I have pledged to learn to grow and blossom in ways I didn’t know were possible from this. I forgive myself for hurting the man a really loved. He didn’t deserve that pain even if I deserved better. I forgive myself for comparing my beauty to that of his new love. We are different and strangers and I need to know that his heart is with her now and what I look like means nothing to the situation any more. I forgive myself for allowing me to wallow in pain and grieving for months. This pain may never fully heal and I may always have cracks in my heart, but I believe that I will find love and beauty in this life again. I forgive myself for losing my soul and self worth in the process. I need to be able to look into the mirror again and look at my reflection and say “I love you” to myself. I need to be as strong the girl I once was before he left. I forgive myself for the way I acted during the darkest period of my life. My losses were great, but my gains will be greater. I am hopeful.
- I forgive you for breaking my heart. I was shattered and every day I look for the glue to put the pieces of my heart back together. I forgive you for moving on so quickly and forgetting about me. It kills me that you did but I understand that this is what is best for you. I forgive you for falling out of love with me. I understand that I made it hard to stay in love. I forgive you for being mean and cold. You did what you had to do to let me know I had to go. I forgive you for being emotionally abusive at the end. I understand that you were upset with me and that’s how you expressed your emotions even if it wasn’t right. I forgive you for gaslighting me. You knew what you were doing when you told me that our friends were gossiping about me and then denying it, for it killed me mentally and emotionally and now I realize that this distancing was for the best. I forgive you for flaunting your new relationship in my face. Yeah, she is an upgrade, but it showed me how little you truly cared about my heart. You were long gone and you wanted me to know that. I forgive you for breaking me. I needed to be broken so I could put myself back together 10 times stronger than I was before you came into my world. I forgive you for hiding me. You didn’t want anyone to know about me and I will never know why but I know already that I was never the love of your life by the way you so freely let the world now about your second love. I forgive you for making me feel worthless. I should have known my worth to begin with and not tied it to you. I forgive you for the lies. You knew you couldn’t give 100% of yourself to me and I wish you would have just said so. As much as it all hurts to write out, I forgive you and … I let you go.
Today, I listened to Corey Calliet’s Instagram video where he discussed the two things we need to be successful in life: Motivation and Encouragement. We get encouragement from others and that’s why we need to surround ourselves with positive and supportive people. We also need to then find motivation and that comes from within. These are Corey’s 4 principles for staying motivated:
You need these 4 principles plus encouragement to find success in anything you do.
Preparation + Opportunity = Luck
Stay lucky. Stay Motivated. Be Encouraging.
Last night, the most interesting thing happened. I responded to a regular, trending hashtag on Twitter: #ImProudOfMyselfBecause.
Below is my tweet:
When I went to bed that night, it had 8 likes and when I woke up it had over 300. At the time of this post, it had 414 and over 30 loving and supportive comments from beautiful strangers that I have never even met. My heart was so warm and full and I felt okay for sharing that piece of me today. It didn’t feel attention seeking, it just felt…honest.
So, today I urge you to realize that you are not alone and you can overcome anything because you are strong, you are human, you are fearfully and wonderfully made, you are you, and you are WORTHY. When you are depressed you forget that sometimes, you really do. The likes on this tweet made me realize that I am not alone, I am loved, and I am supported. Everything will be okay one day, just keep on pushing and fighting the war in your mind and you will see.
Be Proud Of Yourself Because You Are You <3.
- I don’t know why I did it, but my nosiness got the best of me and I decided to watch the Instagram story of my former best friend’s girlfriend. They were all going out and having fun together, just like we used to all do. It was painful to watch in a way. To see the life I once had and I could still have had if I didn’t act crazy at the end of a really bad and painful breakup. I can’t blame anyone but myself anymore and I have to understand that this is my karma. I am getting exactly what I deserve. I hope that one day the universe will bless me, somehow, with an amazing group of friends that I will not take for granted. I hope to be able to find my people once again.
- Falling out of love is hard. You keep searching for the answers and the way to process your feelings faster but you just can’t find one. I don’t know. Maybe one day I just will not feel sad about it anymore. I don’t know.
- I have realized that I basically ruined my relationship. I kind of did have a good guy. He wasn’t perfect by any means, but he really did love me and sometimes having love and support is the most important thing. Hopefully, I will find something like that again and if I don’t I will always be grateful for the time I had it.
In order to change your life, you need to look at every toxic behaviour in your life.
A lot of people hate to look at themselves and define themselves, especially the ‘ugly’ parts of their personalities. We all have faults and none of us are perfect.
In order to move forward, let go, and understand who YOU are, you need to understand how you got to that place. In order to grow, you need to become more emotionally intelligent. In order to become more emotionally intelligent, you need to understand how your negative (or toxic) behaviours have brought you to the place you are today. Only then can you change your future.
We all make mistakes in our pasts and some are more detrimental than others. It is important to understand that we can change our lives at any moment we decide to for the better. We cannot change the past but we can change the future. Once you understand that you can make your future much brighter than your past ever was, then you can start to grow and change as a person.
Commit to improving yourself by 1% per day, everyday, until you are the best version of you. Then, when you feel that you are the best you can be, put that 1% per day into maintaining that sense of self you have created. You will feel much happier and healthier mentally when you do so.
Love yourself wholly enough to look at yourself completely. When you make peace with who you used to be, you can become who you NEED to be and your world will become a brighter place.
You can do it.
- Everyone is going through their own personal battles and you never know what it could be. Today, someone in my office began to cry because they had an emergency and I began to wonder if anyone would cry if something happened to me? I also found the hashtag #BraveNotBroken today on Twitter and I realized that my issues aren’t as severe as the issues of others my age, however, they are equally impacting on my life and well being. It was just great to see that I was not as alone as I feel, especially on a day like today.
- There is no reason for me to be sad at all today, yet I am. I am quite sad actually. I feel the tears at the back of my eyes. I have so many good things going on in my life right now and I am trying to focus on how amazing and worthwhile these opportunities are for me, yet I am sad. I feel like a high-functioning depressed person. I am sad and depressed yet I am getting things done. Where is the satisfaction though?
- I have a job interview for the internship of a lifetime tomorrow and I am just as nervous for it as I am excited. I know that if I fail to get this position for the summer I will be very depressed, however, a part of me is super optimistic and sure about this. My gut is telling me that this is the push personally and professionally that I need in my life at this time. I just hope that everything works out.