6 things you need to know if you want to die

The Bipolar Project

I get a lot of hits from people who google “help me kill myself”. I find this a little upsetting, because I can see exactly how many people find me through that phrase and for each and every one who visits with that in mind, I’m sorry.

If you’re feeling like killing yourself, there’s often not a lot that can be said to help you change your mind. But I hope you’ll take a moment to read what I’ve got to say, and perhaps follow my advice because there’s a few things you need to know.

To my faithful readers, please share in the comments your stories to provide hope for those who feel there is none. Particularly, I think it would be helpful to include things that have helped you when you have been in crisis.

Suicide

1)    You’re not alone

Did you know that most people will have thoughts…

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10 Things I Learned During a Year of Severe Depression (Part 1)

  1. The people you thought would always be there for you won’t be when shit hits the fan
  2. You may be too much to handle
  3. You need to deposit a dollar into a piggy bank each day as a thanks to the Gods for still being alive so you can spend it on Starbucks when you feel better
  4. Some of your friends actually have unconditional love for you and you need to fight for them
  5. Things will be okay on some days and not on others
  6. It is completely okay to cry. People will get it and not care
  7. Put anything too stressful on hold for now and get to it later. Your mental health is more important than your timeline
  8. Walk every day
  9. Take your vitamins
  10. Find a blog that you resonate with. Mine is http://advicefromatwentysomething.com/

Enjoy 🙂

No More #3Things

Hi Everyone,

I have made a decision to stop writing my #3things posts. To be honest, I was writing them during a time of extremely great depression and while I am still dealing with the residual effects of the depression, I have realized that I don’t need to write out #3things to share with the world whenever I am feeling down or hopeless. I can now cry it out and go for a walk and embrace the world with a smile no matter how challenging it might appear to initially be. I am a little bit more hopeful today that I was 2 months ago and I think that is a blessing in disguise.

Thank you all for reading my posts. I hope to be writing more positive blog content moving forward.

Sincerely,

Alexandria

3 Things (08/06/2018)

  1. On Saturday, after 5 months of radio silence, my former best friend sent me a snapchat of all of my former friends hanging out. I wouldn’t open this until the Tuesday, the day of Kate Spade’s suicide attempt. I opened the snapchat with the hope that there would be a warm message inside. I hoped that maybe he would care and it would be a “Hi, how are you?” kind of message. I hoped that after all this time there would be some semblance of love and care still there. Instead, already in a state of depression, I felt as if my former life was being rubbed into my face. I felt as if the gesture (which I think it was) was quite insensitive. I became mad and I did what I normally do – I lashed out and he deleted me as a friend. Our last connection was gone. While I should feel sad, I don’t. I feel a sense of loss, but this time it isn’t sadness. If a person can see you at your lowest point and not ask you how you are doing or even reach out after 5 months, are they really worth a spot in your life. Let it go – and I have. I may be a lot to deal with, and I may not have had the best mental health for a while after my break up, but I really did love my best friend. Goodbye dude. Thank you for everything. (I will write a goodbye letter soon)
  2. I had an amazing job interview today. I really hope that I get the position. I have been trying very hard to work on myself and my happiness lately. I hope that it shows.
  3. I really need to lose the weight this time. I do not like the weight in my face. It doesn’t make me feel beautiful to have this excess weight. I want to feel pretty.

3 Things (19/05/2018)

1. Why am I crying on the bus? I feel compelled to write this because I don’t understand why I am crying on the bus. A sadness overtook me today that hasn’t come over me in a while. I still feel very lost and depressed. This makes me feel unable to operate at full capacity sometimes. I have never been this dispositioned in my life.

2. I find my mind to be a very sad and toxic place. Sometimes I think my thoughts are getting healthier but that only lasts for a few hours. I wonder what it would be like to be happy for a whole week? I wonder what that would look like? I remember the last time I was really happy. It was in September 2017. Isn’t it sad that it has been months since I’ve been able to be happy?

3. I have started to distance myself from my friends because I feel like this is a conclusion and a place I need to get to on my own. I cannot keep burdening them. I have to find happiness for myself on my own. I think they have helped me enough. My sadness cannot bring them down any longer.

3 Things (12/05/2018)

1. As of today, this day, I commit myself to becoming a more peaceful and beautiful soul. I want to be able to listen more to the words of others in order to feel their souls. I want to put more happiness into this world. I want to rebuild myself and become a less toxic person. I want to start anew. I want to use my lessons from the past to shape who I am today without altering my personality. My goal is to be a good person and not a bad one like I was before.

2. My negative, pessimistic, and toxic energy has to go. I don’t have time for it anymore. It’s not who I want to be. I need to be the best person I know. That’s how and where I will find my happiness.

3. Something is calling me to work in Italy. I got a job offer to work there and something is telling me like this is the right decision for me. I would go because I feel like a month in the country I have always wanted to visit is the best form of clarity for me. I am searching for myself and my sense of purpose. I may have just found it.