Proud of Myself?

For the first time in over 6 years, I have straight A’s in all of my academic classes. That sounds amazing, right? Yes it does, but it also sucks that I have been in my undergraduate program for longer than the usual 4 years. I feel like I should be further in my life and that I should be at work or in grad school. I feel like my life should be more together than it currently is. While I do feel that I am behind in my life, getting good grades has once again proven to me that I do have intelligence and I can go as far in my life as I am willing to push myself. I think we all need to find something that makes us feel as if we can push ourselves past the limits we have set for ourselves. Set a goal and go for something. Maybe at the end of this, I will be fully proud of myself.

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Khloe Kardashian Spoke To Me

Lately, I have been going through a very rough time emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I feel like nothing in my life can get better. Its hard to get out of bed in the morning. I am struggling with the most mundane of things. Yesterday, Khloe Kardashian (Yeah, I know but don’t judge), posted a series of tweets and honestly they calmed down my anxiety instantly. I hope that maybe this can resonate with you as well. We are not perfect human beings but maybe we can be better people and our lives can get better as well. I hope that this can happy for me in the future.

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15 Binge Worthy Shows on Netflix

Wildcat Connections

For some, Spring Break is a time of sleepless nights and grand adventures, but for others it is a time of much needed rest and leisure. During this time of leisure, many will take part in binge-watching TV shows. When flipping through Netflix, how does one decide what to watch? There are so many choices out there, and half of them are practically unwatchable. Here is a list of the Top 15 shows to watch on Netflix, but before you begin, remember to binge-watch responsibly.

15. Undeclared

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Undeclared is an awesome example of how unexpected and awkward college can be. College is a time of growth and self exploration. Take a few tips from Steven Karp and try new things. Get out of your comfort zone and have some fun.

14. About a Boy

If you are looking for a humor and a family dynamic, check out About a Boy. This kid…

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High Protein Recipes

I received an email today from SELF Magazine and it was all about high protein meals you can prepare for a cold day. Some of these recipes looked so amazing I couldn’t not share them with all of you. I hope that you click the link and find something amazing to enjoy.

If (and when) I make any of these, I will share the pics with you all here on the blog!

Find Recipes Here!!!!

Can I Write About My Sadness?

Today is my ex-best friends birthday and I am super sad.

One of our mutual friends texted me to tell me about the people that were there and I just realized that it has been a year since I had last seen my former friend and I realized how sad I was about the situation. I am crying as I write this right now and I thought that maybe writing it out would help me with my feelings.

This year has absolutely been the hardest one of my life. If I make it out of 2018 alive and with even a semblance of happiness then maybe I will have made it. I feel like life will never get better than this quite often and I am not even sad anymore because I have just accepted that life sucks. I don’t even want better things anymore. I just want a job that pays my rent and puts food on the table. Thinking about the ‘more” in life really make me feel trapped and depressed and hopeless. I don’t hope anymore. I don’t wish anymore. I just do what I need to do to keep on living.

I also haven’t had a good cry in a while but tonight made me cry hysterically. The things and people that used to make me happy are gone. The person I used to be is lost. I have gained over 40 pounds and I look obese. I am always being demanded to do something from my family.  I am broke. I am depressed. I hate the way I look in a mirror. Most of all,  I am lonely. I think Loneliness is the hardest things in the world to deal with.

So, tonight I write this with tears in my eyes and yes I know it makes no sense. I feel like healing will never come and that pain is enteral but maybe life will get 10% better and that is enough for me to be okay with.

Upside Down

Don’t we just all love finales? I was watching one of the final scenes of Girlfriends Guide to Divorce and I heard this lovely song. I have had it on repeat for the past week and I thought it would be great to share with all of you! Upside Down is a soul folk song by GoldFord and it is simply about not being able to let go of someone because of the beauty that they add to your life.

Friendships

This post really resonated with me and I hope it can resonate with someone else too.

diaryofatwentysomething

“Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend.”
– Sarah Dessen, Someone Like You

If someone told me a few short years ago that this quote would apply to me and my life right now, I’d look at my friends, look at the person, look back at my friends and then look back at that person (pause) and fall into a hysterical fit of laughter. See I never imagined I’d have no friends, I always had friends, even in secondary school when my ‘friends’ at the time turned on me, I found a new clique to hang out with, but I am not in secondary school anymore, I’m no longer a teenager, and the reality is friendships at least for me are harder to form and that’s not for lack of wanting.

I really don’t know what happened to all the close friends I once had…

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