Body

I haven’t posted about a song for a while, so here goes.

Body is a song by Canadian EDM duo, Loud Luxury. This song features vocalist Brando, who apparently originally wrote the song to be a rap. Loud Luxury played with his voice and lyrics a bit to give us the Top 40 Masterpiece, Body. 

I am obsessed with this song and it just makes me want to get up and dance and have so much fun. I hope that you play this and jam to it at your next pre party.

Heart of the Matter (Book Review)

7114761.jpgTHIS DIDN’T END THE WAY I WANTED IT TO TO BE HONEST.

I will be upfront, I was so bored with one of the main protagonists, Tessa, that I didn’t really want her to have a happy ending. Also, I come from a single parent household so I really wanted the single mother, Valerie, to finally get the happy ending she deserved. She almost did but Nick, the gorgeous surgeon who is married to Tessa and will end up having an affair with Valerie, had a change of heart. I honestly think that he just took an L.

This books starts off slow, so to summarize, Tessa Russo, wife of surgeon Nick, decides to leave her job and become a stay at home mom. Cool, nothing too drastic here. Her mom warns her of the negatives of this action and how it will damage her relationship with her all star husband. Tessa, decides to dismiss her mothers claims and proceeds to live her stay at home mom life. She quickly realizes that staying at home isn’t as easy as it looks and her marriage does begin to become strained. Uh-oh.

Valerie is a lawyer and a single mother who lives with her son and her brother, who we later on learn is gay. Her whole life is her son and she does her best to protect him. One day, she agrees to let him go to a sleepover where he accidentally gets pushing into a camp fire while two other boys were rough housing near it. Her son’s skin gets badly burnt and her life comes crashing down.

As Valerie’s son is getting treatment for his wounds, she and Nick become very close, having many one on one conversations…since he is the doctor here after all. When they are released, Nick continues to make at home visits (when this is truly not necessary) which ends up in intercourse between Valerie and Nick.

Nick feels guilty and realizes that he “loves” his wife so after one time, he ends things with Valerie and confesses to his wife Tessa. Tessa kicks him out for a while but the book ends with them reconciling because she essentially doesn’t want her kids to live a life without a dad, thus sacrificing her happiness even more.

In my opinion, Nick should have ended up with Valerie. Tessa, who was becoming super insecure anyways, could not get the same attention or affection from her husband that she used to. He had disconnected and began to fall in love with another. She can stay but their marriage will never be the same and they will never be truly happy again. Valerie honestly wins either way. If she gets Nick she wins the prize of the accomplished man but has to deal with the backlash of the divorce. If she doesn’t get Nick, she can keep her head held high and be confident that she can still attract a man even if she doesn’t get to keep him under the circumstances.

I give this book a 2.5/5. Its a great book for reading in a Starbucks cafe when you’re bored. It needed more action and drama. Tessa bored me to death and the best part was seeing Nick and Valerie’s love grow. I still wish it didn’t have to die even in light of the circumstances.

Maybe Travelling Will Help?

Since my awful break up this year, I have really felt confined by the space and place I am in. I am finishing up my undergrad and about to start a masters, but I feel trapped in my environment. My goal and hope for the remainder to 2018, is to be able to free my soul through deep mediation and travel.

I want to travel and see new places and create new memories and experiences. If after I travel, I am still unable to be happy with everything in life, then I will determine that most of what I feel is internal and not environmental.

On my travel bucket-list I will be attempting to visit:

  • Spain
  • Ottawa, ON, Canada
  • USA
  • Colombia

Lets see if I actually make it and follow my travel tab to see me write about my experiences.

The Mistakes You Make

a3a1e0eed2fb61b29d4eef4c2c319caf.jpgI am slowly learning day by day, that we all make mistakes. Some are big and some are small, but we all make mistakes. All mistakes can be forgiven, but some can never be forgotten. When our mistakes impact the people in our lives negatively, we must not seek reconciliation, we must look within to discover what within us needs to change.

 

 

When you hurt someone, something is wrong with you. You are manifesting a negative feeling that you are projecting onto another person. The answer to fix the problem is always within yourself.

 

You may never win back the affection of the people you hurt and that is okay. It will hurt and make you sad but always remember that you cannot change the past. You can take the lesson you have learnt and apply it to the future and become a more positive individual. You will make new friends and meet new people. Make sure you don’t make the same mistake twice with the new people that you meet.

When you are happy and you love yourself from within, you won’t make the same mistakes. Remember this, people come into your life for a reason and some stay for only a season. Maybe your mistake caused their season to end abruptly. That’s okay. It just means that their reason was to teach you a lesson about something within yourself that you need to fix.

It’s okay. Learn. Move forward. Forgive yourself. Don’t repeat the mistake.

Never Dreamed You’d Leave in Summer

I was watching the TV show Scandal and this song started playing. At first, I listened to the song and I thought it was beautiful at first. Later, I added it to my Spotify playlist and really listened to it for the first time. This song has truly resonated with me in my heartbreak. I was brought to tears. You never think that someone will leave you when everything is good and nothing you say or ask can ever make them turn around and stay. You will question everything that went wrong and everything that you could have changed but that will never bring them back.

“Why didn’t you stay?”

I ask myself this question everyday. Why didn’t I stay at first and why didn’t he stay at the end. We can torture ourselves forever with these questions and try to find answers but that only stops our growth forward.

This song is the lyrical embodiment of heartbreak. Using the changes of the seasons to describe lost love is perfect. As we go through the changing seasons without the one we love we will learn new things about ourselves and our place in our relationship and be able to move forward and grow. Always move forward and never back and even if you move back, remember the sun will come out tomorrow and a new season will come and you will be just fine my dear.

I never dreamed you’d leave in summer, but now I find my love has gone away. Why didn’t you stay…

What It Means to Take a Risk

 

Going through a breakup has had me seeking inspiration from a variety of sources (on the internet and through people). These sources could simply be comedic or sad or happy but what I realized most of all is that I was looking for an answer to my heart ache and pain. I was looking for an answer to my disposition and sadness. I was looking for the answer from the world as to why someone couldn’t love me the way I loved them. Ultimately, I couldn’t find an answer but what I did find was a video on YouTube by Ashley C. Ford about love and risk.

Love and risk.

What does that mean?

I had to listen to this video 11 times before I truthfully had the answer I was looking for within myself. When you love someone, you risk it all for them. You fight. Ford said “Love is active”. When you love someone, you fight and open up yourself to someone else. You risk your heart in order to be with someone else. Love should make you grow and prosper. You fight for this to happen. As I listened to this talk I realized that while my relationship had love, it never had fight.

The second thing that Ford said was a quote from Maya Angelou, “Love Liberates, it doesn’t bind”. It really does. Love allows you to open up and to free yourself emotionally because you have found someone that you trust enough to break down your walls with and let in. You have found freedom in your love. That is a beautiful thing. She also said about her partner was, “he has never asked me to be less so that he could be more…he has only encouraged me to expand…he has liberated me in some ways”. I realized that in my relationship, I was not asked to be less so that he could be more, but I always FELT that I had to be less so that he could be more. I felt that I had to work less to give him more of my time so that he could be happy. I felt like I had to do less because he was doing nothing, and that made me feel stagnant and frustrated. I never felt liberated with this man. I felt stuck. I didn’t feel encouraged to expand. I felt encouraged to stand still. While he has now found some degree of success in his life (from what I can see), I have determined that we were not for each other as we could not spawn the desire for more within each other. We could not liberate each other. For that reason, you must let go.

The third thing Ashley Ford says, is that “Love will never let you down, ultimately”. We have all had our hearts broken in some way and we have all had to rebuild and restructure, but no matter what happens, loving someone and risking for them is never a mistake. I loved him fully and thoroughly and I tried hard to express this to him. While I held on for a bit too long and found it hard to let go, I know that there is a lesson to be learnt here and I am finding out what that is day by day.

I realized that the only way to move on is to inspire yourself to move on. You need to love and liberate YOURSELF. Take risks in your career, life and friendships. Expand on your knowledge of the world. Go on an adventure. Make new memories. Be free. You can always fall in love again, but you can never get time back. Go and be free.

Love yourself.

 

12 Reasons Why Hitting Rock Bottom Is The Best Thing That Can Ever Hap

About 4 years ago, I had flat-out hit rock bottom, emotionally, financially, mentally & spiritually. The crash was painful in every way and I finally had no choice but to face myself brutally, painfully and honestly.

Source: 12 Reasons Why Hitting Rock Bottom Is The Best Thing That Can Ever Hap