I feel like I am always in a predicament with people and friends. I am either losing them or fighting with them. Since my breakup, which I now understand the part I played in, I have found that I have had drama with my friends without even really trying. Its like I attract it just by saying something or anything.
And then I realized something.
These just were not my people.
I think if they were my people, they would invite and include me in things so I didn’t feel more alone. I think that they would tell people my ideas instead of trading them off as their own. I think they would check in on me more. I think they wouldn’t say mean things and I think they would respect me more. I wouldn’t feel like an outsider when I am with them.
Realizing that you have to let go of your girl squad is hard as fuck but sometimes its necessary. I believe that there are people out there in the world for you and for me and I will find them. Maybe not today but hopefully soon.
To be honest, none of this will matter my 30 and knowing this has taken a huge weight from off of my shoulders.
Going through a breakup has had me seeking inspiration from a variety of sources (on the internet and through people). These sources could simply be comedic or sad or happy but what I realized most of all is that I was looking for an answer to my heart ache and pain. I was looking for an answer to my disposition and sadness. I was looking for the answer from the world as to why someone couldn’t love me the way I loved them. Ultimately, I couldn’t find an answer but what I did find was a video on YouTube by Ashley C. Ford about love and risk.
Love and risk.
What does that mean?
I had to listen to this video 11 times before I truthfully had the answer I was looking for within myself. When you love someone, you risk it all for them. You fight. Ford said “Love is active”. When you love someone, you fight and open up yourself to someone else. You risk your heart in order to be with someone else. Love should make you grow and prosper. You fight for this to happen. As I listened to this talk I realized that while my relationship had love, it never had fight.
The second thing that Ford said was a quote from Maya Angelou, “Love Liberates, it doesn’t bind”. It really does. Love allows you to open up and to free yourself emotionally because you have found someone that you trust enough to break down your walls with and let in. You have found freedom in your love. That is a beautiful thing. She also said about her partner was, “he has never asked me to be less so that he could be more…he has only encouraged me to expand…he has liberated me in some ways”. I realized that in my relationship, I was not asked to be less so that he could be more, but I always FELT that I had to be less so that he could be more. I felt that I had to work less to give him more of my time so that he could be happy. I felt like I had to do less because he was doing nothing, and that made me feel stagnant and frustrated. I never felt liberated with this man. I felt stuck. I didn’t feel encouraged to expand. I felt encouraged to stand still. While he has now found some degree of success in his life (from what I can see), I have determined that we were not for each other as we could not spawn the desire for more within each other. We could not liberate each other. For that reason, you must let go.
The third thing Ashley Ford says, is that “Love will never let you down, ultimately”. We have all had our hearts broken in some way and we have all had to rebuild and restructure, but no matter what happens, loving someone and risking for them is never a mistake. I loved him fully and thoroughly and I tried hard to express this to him. While I held on for a bit too long and found it hard to let go, I know that there is a lesson to be learnt here and I am finding out what that is day by day.
I realized that the only way to move on is to inspire yourself to move on. You need to love and liberate YOURSELF. Take risks in your career, life and friendships. Expand on your knowledge of the world. Go on an adventure. Make new memories. Be free. You can always fall in love again, but you can never get time back. Go and be free.
This is my Health and Wellness tip of the day: let them go.
Let go of the people who no longer serve a purpose in your life in order to grow.
Don’t get bitter and think that they weren’t for you and that’s why they are gone. Think about the fact that they were for you for a time and that you now need to let them go because you both need to grow.
Thank them, whether internally or externally, for the time and role they spent in your life and then keep on letting your heart be thankful for them walking in and out when they did. Every one you meet that touches you has the power to transform and change your life. Grow and show yourself the power you have gained from their presence. Do not dwell in their non existence in your space, but flourish in YOUR gratitude of their existence in the world. For you would not have had the lessons you had if they were not there, nor would you have been able to find the tools to grow that you needed.
Be thankful and let them go. More people will come, that is a fact. Learn and let go of the ones who have finished teaching you how to be good to all the others.
ITS 2018! I feel like after the 2017 I have had, the beginning of a new year is the best way to start fresh and move forward in the most positive way possible. I believe that only good things can come from this year and that I have to dedicate it to working on myself and my career. Positive thinking is key to growth and success moving forward. I have to continue to work on that as the year goes by.
I will continue to occasionally write on this blog as it has been my baby since 2012, but I don’t know what other content to focus on in the new year. I will continue to think about this.
Anyways, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL. Best wishes for 2018! You can do anything you set your mind to.
To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.
I decided to visit 401 Richmond in Toronto a few weeks ago and stumbled upon multiple lush green plants. Looking at healthy plants makes me happy and calm. It reminds me to look for the beauty in all things.
Merry Christmas to you all that celebrate and if you don’t, then Happy Monday to you too!
I know that this is one day late, but I just wanted to acknowledge those of you that have been following and reading my blog since 2012! Its exciting to know that I have been using this blog for almost 6 years now and I am so excited to still have all of you reading along with me! I know that I don’t get around to blogging as much as I used to but 2018 is a year in which I hope to start again! Thanks for your continued support!