- I do not know why I still love and care about someone who doesn’t even think twice about me. It is not a productive thing to do and it certainly doesn’t help me to heal in anyway. I feel like I take three steps forward and then 10 steps back and I know that this will eventually lead to progress but progress feels so slow and bleak. Maybe this just means that I loved harder than he did? I am not so sure and I am not into thinking about the what ifs any longer. Now, I just know that I need to find more strength to let go of the past and the things that I cannot change.
- I now see how I messed up in my relationship clearly and I also see how he deserved better. Neither of us were great, and neither of our sides of the streets are clean but we both deserved better than each other and there is healing in realizing this. I just need to forgive myself for my mistakes and to move forward to be happier and to fully heal.
- I think that moving away will calm me down in many ways. I need a change in scenery and in life to fully blossom I feel. I have been too trapped and stagnant for too long. I know that in order to change and to grow and to be fully out of the box I am in, moving will go a long way to improving myself and the life I lead. I realized that the purpose of this break up was to show me that my final place isn’t where I am today and that I need to work hard and fight to become the person I was intended to be.
In order to change your life, you need to look at every toxic behaviour in your life.
A lot of people hate to look at themselves and define themselves, especially the ‘ugly’ parts of their personalities. We all have faults and none of us are perfect.
In order to move forward, let go, and understand who YOU are, you need to understand how you got to that place. In order to grow, you need to become more emotionally intelligent. In order to become more emotionally intelligent, you need to understand how your negative (or toxic) behaviours have brought you to the place you are today. Only then can you change your future.
We all make mistakes in our pasts and some are more detrimental than others. It is important to understand that we can change our lives at any moment we decide to for the better. We cannot change the past but we can change the future. Once you understand that you can make your future much brighter than your past ever was, then you can start to grow and change as a person.
Commit to improving yourself by 1% per day, everyday, until you are the best version of you. Then, when you feel that you are the best you can be, put that 1% per day into maintaining that sense of self you have created. You will feel much happier and healthier mentally when you do so.
Love yourself wholly enough to look at yourself completely. When you make peace with who you used to be, you can become who you NEED to be and your world will become a brighter place.
You can do it.
- Everyone is going through their own personal battles and you never know what it could be. Today, someone in my office began to cry because they had an emergency and I began to wonder if anyone would cry if something happened to me? I also found the hashtag #BraveNotBroken today on Twitter and I realized that my issues aren’t as severe as the issues of others my age, however, they are equally impacting on my life and well being. It was just great to see that I was not as alone as I feel, especially on a day like today.
- There is no reason for me to be sad at all today, yet I am. I am quite sad actually. I feel the tears at the back of my eyes. I have so many good things going on in my life right now and I am trying to focus on how amazing and worthwhile these opportunities are for me, yet I am sad. I feel like a high-functioning depressed person. I am sad and depressed yet I am getting things done. Where is the satisfaction though?
- I have a job interview for the internship of a lifetime tomorrow and I am just as nervous for it as I am excited. I know that if I fail to get this position for the summer I will be very depressed, however, a part of me is super optimistic and sure about this. My gut is telling me that this is the push personally and professionally that I need in my life at this time. I just hope that everything works out.
Since my awful break up this year, I have really felt confined by the space and place I am in. I am finishing up my undergrad and about to start a masters, but I feel trapped in my environment. My goal and hope for the remainder to 2018, is to be able to free my soul through deep mediation and travel.
I want to travel and see new places and create new memories and experiences. If after I travel, I am still unable to be happy with everything in life, then I will determine that most of what I feel is internal and not environmental.
On my travel bucket-list I will be attempting to visit:
- Ottawa, ON, Canada
Lets see if I actually make it and follow my travel tab to see me write about my experiences.
I am slowly learning day by day, that we all make mistakes. Some are big and some are small, but we all make mistakes. All mistakes can be forgiven, but some can never be forgotten. When our mistakes impact the people in our lives negatively, we must not seek reconciliation, we must look within to discover what within us needs to change.
When you hurt someone, something is wrong with you. You are manifesting a negative feeling that you are projecting onto another person. The answer to fix the problem is always within yourself.
You may never win back the affection of the people you hurt and that is okay. It will hurt and make you sad but always remember that you cannot change the past. You can take the lesson you have learnt and apply it to the future and become a more positive individual. You will make new friends and meet new people. Make sure you don’t make the same mistake twice with the new people that you meet.
When you are happy and you love yourself from within, you won’t make the same mistakes. Remember this, people come into your life for a reason and some stay for only a season. Maybe your mistake caused their season to end abruptly. That’s okay. It just means that their reason was to teach you a lesson about something within yourself that you need to fix.
It’s okay. Learn. Move forward. Forgive yourself. Don’t repeat the mistake.
“Man’s rejection, is God’s protection”
This is a quote that I have been living by lately.
Last week, I was listening to an episode of the Lady Gang podcast featuring Jeannie Mai from The Real. As I was listening, she was discussing a lost opportunity years prior to her success and how that rejection allowed her to find something better and more fulfilling. This quote was enlightening to me and I began to think about all of the times when rejection has spawned an otherwise positive outcome for me.
For example, I had been working in the same seasonal job position from my mid teens into my early 20’s. For the first time in 6 years, I was blindsided when I got an email that stated that my services would not be needed for that upcoming summer. I became frantic and depressed. I took the first job that was offered to me because I was so nervous to be unemployed, even though it wasn’t related to my field. When I went to job orientation, I became suddenly depressed and I knew that it wasn’t for me. I went home and cried but then I suddenly woke up and decided to apply to every job opportunity so that I could focus on my career and not my loss. When I opened my email, the company that I had previously interned at had a position open for me and I jumped at it! I have been there now for 3 years, working in my field of study and loving it.
The rejection in this case was my protection as it allowed me to grow in my career instead of basking in my comfort.
I think about my break up with my ex as well. His rejection was my protection. His rejection allowed me to self reflect and work on the parts of myself that weren’t so great. It also allowed me to learn that self love is the most important factor in life and that we can achieve this through a belief that we have the power to do all things because of a higher power (Call it God or not). I began to believe in the universe and this manifested into me believing in myself. I began to love the others around me more. Mostly, I learned to let go of people and negative situations that no longer served me.
I also learned what I did and didn’t want in a man so that hopefully I will get the chance to get love right in the future.
These were lessons I had to learn.
So, the next time you feel that getting declined for something is the worst thing in the world, always remember this: Man’s rejection is God’s Protection. You won’t see it right away, but you will soon see it manifest into a different and better opportunity.
“Your next blessing depends on what you leave behind”
Sometimes it is challenging to see that you need to leave something or someone that is so important to you behind in order to see growth in your life. Sometimes, in order to see these changes or personal growth, we do have to leave behind the things and people that no longer serve us. The minute that we release this into the universe, we are able to envision a different future and outcome for ourselves. This will leave us open to discovering our next blessing in any form by which it comes. Leave behind the past in order to be blessed in the future. Honour and work on yourself in the present.