Khloe Kardashian Spoke To Me

Lately, I have been going through a very rough time emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I feel like nothing in my life can get better. Its hard to get out of bed in the morning. I am struggling with the most mundane of things. Yesterday, Khloe Kardashian (Yeah, I know but don’t judge), posted a series of tweets and honestly they calmed down my anxiety instantly. I hope that maybe this can resonate with you as well. We are not perfect human beings but maybe we can be better people and our lives can get better as well. I hope that this can happy for me in the future.

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Goodbye #GirlSquad

I feel like I am always in a predicament with people and friends. I am either losing them or fighting with them. Since my breakup, which I now understand the part I played in, I have found that I have had drama with my friends without even really trying. Its like I attract it just by saying something or anything.

And then I realized something.

These just were not my people.

I think if they were my people, they would invite and include me in things so I didn’t feel more alone. I think that they would tell people my ideas instead of trading them off as their own. I think they would check in on me more. I think they wouldn’t say mean things and I think they would respect me more. I wouldn’t feel like an outsider when I am with them.

Realizing that you have to let go of your girl squad is hard as fuck but sometimes its necessary. I believe that there are people out there in the world for you and for me and I will find them. Maybe not today but hopefully soon.

To be honest, none of this will matter my 30 and knowing this has taken a huge weight from off of my shoulders.

10 Things I Learned During a Year of Severe Depression (Part 1)

  1. The people you thought would always be there for you won’t be when shit hits the fan
  2. You may be too much to handle
  3. You need to deposit a dollar into a piggy bank each day as a thanks to the Gods for still being alive so you can spend it on Starbucks when you feel better
  4. Some of your friends actually have unconditional love for you and you need to fight for them
  5. Things will be okay on some days and not on others
  6. It is completely okay to cry. People will get it and not care
  7. Put anything too stressful on hold for now and get to it later. Your mental health is more important than your timeline
  8. Walk every day
  9. Take your vitamins
  10. Find a blog that you resonate with. Mine is http://advicefromatwentysomething.com/

Enjoy 🙂

Look At Every Toxic Behaviour In Your Life

7ac4ff9ec3ef0618f8a044601cfed4b5In order to change your life, you need to look at every toxic behaviour in your life.

A lot of people hate to look at themselves and define themselves, especially the ‘ugly’ parts of their personalities. We all have faults and none of us are perfect.

In order to move forward, let go, and understand who YOU are, you need to understand how you got to that place. In order to grow, you need to become more emotionally intelligent. In order to become more emotionally intelligent, you need to understand how your negative (or toxic) behaviours have brought you to the place you are today. Only then can you change your future.

We all make mistakes in our pasts and some are more detrimental than others. It is important to understand that we can change our lives at any moment we decide to for the better. We cannot change the past but we can change the future. Once you understand that you can make your future much brighter than your past ever was, then you can start to grow and change as a person.

Commit to improving yourself by 1% per day, everyday, until you are the best version of you. Then, when you feel that you are the best you can be, put that 1% per  day into maintaining that sense of self you have created. You will feel much happier and healthier mentally when you do so.

Love yourself wholly enough to look at yourself completely. When you make peace with who you used to be, you can become who you NEED to be and your world will become a brighter place.

You can do it.

Heart of the Matter (Book Review)

7114761.jpgTHIS DIDN’T END THE WAY I WANTED IT TO TO BE HONEST.

I will be upfront, I was so bored with one of the main protagonists, Tessa, that I didn’t really want her to have a happy ending. Also, I come from a single parent household so I really wanted the single mother, Valerie, to finally get the happy ending she deserved. She almost did but Nick, the gorgeous surgeon who is married to Tessa and will end up having an affair with Valerie, had a change of heart. I honestly think that he just took an L.

This books starts off slow, so to summarize, Tessa Russo, wife of surgeon Nick, decides to leave her job and become a stay at home mom. Cool, nothing too drastic here. Her mom warns her of the negatives of this action and how it will damage her relationship with her all star husband. Tessa, decides to dismiss her mothers claims and proceeds to live her stay at home mom life. She quickly realizes that staying at home isn’t as easy as it looks and her marriage does begin to become strained. Uh-oh.

Valerie is a lawyer and a single mother who lives with her son and her brother, who we later on learn is gay. Her whole life is her son and she does her best to protect him. One day, she agrees to let him go to a sleepover where he accidentally gets pushing into a camp fire while two other boys were rough housing near it. Her son’s skin gets badly burnt and her life comes crashing down.

As Valerie’s son is getting treatment for his wounds, she and Nick become very close, having many one on one conversations…since he is the doctor here after all. When they are released, Nick continues to make at home visits (when this is truly not necessary) which ends up in intercourse between Valerie and Nick.

Nick feels guilty and realizes that he “loves” his wife so after one time, he ends things with Valerie and confesses to his wife Tessa. Tessa kicks him out for a while but the book ends with them reconciling because she essentially doesn’t want her kids to live a life without a dad, thus sacrificing her happiness even more.

In my opinion, Nick should have ended up with Valerie. Tessa, who was becoming super insecure anyways, could not get the same attention or affection from her husband that she used to. He had disconnected and began to fall in love with another. She can stay but their marriage will never be the same and they will never be truly happy again. Valerie honestly wins either way. If she gets Nick she wins the prize of the accomplished man but has to deal with the backlash of the divorce. If she doesn’t get Nick, she can keep her head held high and be confident that she can still attract a man even if she doesn’t get to keep him under the circumstances.

I give this book a 2.5/5. Its a great book for reading in a Starbucks cafe when you’re bored. It needed more action and drama. Tessa bored me to death and the best part was seeing Nick and Valerie’s love grow. I still wish it didn’t have to die even in light of the circumstances.

The Mistakes You Make

a3a1e0eed2fb61b29d4eef4c2c319caf.jpgI am slowly learning day by day, that we all make mistakes. Some are big and some are small, but we all make mistakes. All mistakes can be forgiven, but some can never be forgotten. When our mistakes impact the people in our lives negatively, we must not seek reconciliation, we must look within to discover what within us needs to change.

 

 

When you hurt someone, something is wrong with you. You are manifesting a negative feeling that you are projecting onto another person. The answer to fix the problem is always within yourself.

 

You may never win back the affection of the people you hurt and that is okay. It will hurt and make you sad but always remember that you cannot change the past. You can take the lesson you have learnt and apply it to the future and become a more positive individual. You will make new friends and meet new people. Make sure you don’t make the same mistake twice with the new people that you meet.

When you are happy and you love yourself from within, you won’t make the same mistakes. Remember this, people come into your life for a reason and some stay for only a season. Maybe your mistake caused their season to end abruptly. That’s okay. It just means that their reason was to teach you a lesson about something within yourself that you need to fix.

It’s okay. Learn. Move forward. Forgive yourself. Don’t repeat the mistake.

What It Means to Take a Risk

 

Going through a breakup has had me seeking inspiration from a variety of sources (on the internet and through people). These sources could simply be comedic or sad or happy but what I realized most of all is that I was looking for an answer to my heart ache and pain. I was looking for an answer to my disposition and sadness. I was looking for the answer from the world as to why someone couldn’t love me the way I loved them. Ultimately, I couldn’t find an answer but what I did find was a video on YouTube by Ashley C. Ford about love and risk.

Love and risk.

What does that mean?

I had to listen to this video 11 times before I truthfully had the answer I was looking for within myself. When you love someone, you risk it all for them. You fight. Ford said “Love is active”. When you love someone, you fight and open up yourself to someone else. You risk your heart in order to be with someone else. Love should make you grow and prosper. You fight for this to happen. As I listened to this talk I realized that while my relationship had love, it never had fight.

The second thing that Ford said was a quote from Maya Angelou, “Love Liberates, it doesn’t bind”. It really does. Love allows you to open up and to free yourself emotionally because you have found someone that you trust enough to break down your walls with and let in. You have found freedom in your love. That is a beautiful thing. She also said about her partner was, “he has never asked me to be less so that he could be more…he has only encouraged me to expand…he has liberated me in some ways”. I realized that in my relationship, I was not asked to be less so that he could be more, but I always FELT that I had to be less so that he could be more. I felt that I had to work less to give him more of my time so that he could be happy. I felt like I had to do less because he was doing nothing, and that made me feel stagnant and frustrated. I never felt liberated with this man. I felt stuck. I didn’t feel encouraged to expand. I felt encouraged to stand still. While he has now found some degree of success in his life (from what I can see), I have determined that we were not for each other as we could not spawn the desire for more within each other. We could not liberate each other. For that reason, you must let go.

The third thing Ashley Ford says, is that “Love will never let you down, ultimately”. We have all had our hearts broken in some way and we have all had to rebuild and restructure, but no matter what happens, loving someone and risking for them is never a mistake. I loved him fully and thoroughly and I tried hard to express this to him. While I held on for a bit too long and found it hard to let go, I know that there is a lesson to be learnt here and I am finding out what that is day by day.

I realized that the only way to move on is to inspire yourself to move on. You need to love and liberate YOURSELF. Take risks in your career, life and friendships. Expand on your knowledge of the world. Go on an adventure. Make new memories. Be free. You can always fall in love again, but you can never get time back. Go and be free.

Love yourself.