Limerence

What is Limerence?

Limerence – “the state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one’s feelings but not primarily for a sexual relationship.”

 

Last night, I was talking to my friend and I truly sat there and asked myself why and how I could possibly still be ‘in love’ with my ex. It has been 2.5 years since we broke up. Hes fully moved on. I haven’t seen or talked to him in this long. Honestly, I am starting to annoy myself with this. I am starting to feel like this is dumb and unnecessary. Why do I love someone who doesn’t love me?

A few quotes from my friends started to put things into perspective for me:

“When you started dating him, the you we knew walked out the door and never came back. Where did she go?”

“I don’t think you love him. I think you have somethings you need to work on”

“He may be good to her, but he wasn’t good to you and thats all that should matter”

 

As I sat here and reflected on a few of the comments made, I realized that my brain was bringing up the past and I wasn’t consciously having nightmares or dreams about my ex. I wasn’t thinking about him all day voluntarily. Why was I having these thoughts that caused me a whole lot of emotional pain, sadness, anxiety, and depression. It must be a mental illness of some sort. To be honest, I have always been a person that was great at letting people go, especially ex’s, so why was he any different?

When I typed my symptoms and feelings into Google, the term Limerence came up and I started to read articles on them and realized quickly that this is what I had. Realizing that there was a name for it and a way to move through it was actually so relieving. I think that I will write more about this in the future, especially as I work through learning more about this condition. In the meantime, here are a few articles that I found that should help to explain what Limerence is in more detail.

My goal for 2020 is to fill myself and my life with so much joy that I can overcome this feeling (or condition, depending on how you see it).

If any of you are experiencing or have experienced this, comment below!

Pearls.

I found this blog through the wonderful Harley Bang Bang that I followed on Twitter. I read this post and it actually brought tears to my eyes. This post is filled with things I need to hear, even 2 years out of a bad breakup. I hope that this resonates and helps anyone out there looking for some form of hope. I still have none, but this was quite nice to read.

HarleyBangBang

After my recent breakup, I felt all of the cliché textbook things you’re supposed to feel: sadness, anger, self-loathing, a sense that I wasn’t good enough. All of these feelings were exacerbated two months later when I happened to see my ex out and about with a new girl at a parade, her arms wrapped around him. Out of the *literally* 3 million people who attended this particular parade (including dozens of my friends), the only person I saw that day was him; an incredibly cruel move by fate leaving me sickened that he had moved on so quickly.

My mind started to wander to all kinds of negative places and I wondered whether I would ever be the kind of girl that someone fought for, rather than seemingly being so easy to walk away from. It certainly didn’t help that this girl was the physical opposite of me, leaving…

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Kitana

This has been my go to power walking song for the past two months. I first heard it on an episode of Netflix’s Trinkets and I thought it was a hype song. Now, I just love it. I haven’t listened to any other songs by Princess Nokia to date but maybe I will when I finally get sick and tired of this song.

Also, the song is named after a video game character from Mortal Kombat if that made it any cooler or enticed you to listen. Add this to your workout playlist if you dare!