Look At Every Toxic Behaviour In Your Life

7ac4ff9ec3ef0618f8a044601cfed4b5In order to change your life, you need to look at every toxic behaviour in your life.

A lot of people hate to look at themselves and define themselves, especially the ‘ugly’ parts of their personalities. We all have faults and none of us are perfect.

In order to move forward, let go, and understand who YOU are, you need to understand how you got to that place. In order to grow, you need to become more emotionally intelligent. In order to become more emotionally intelligent, you need to understand how your negative (or toxic) behaviours have brought you to the place you are today. Only then can you change your future.

We all make mistakes in our pasts and some are more detrimental than others. It is important to understand that we can change our lives at any moment we decide to for the better. We cannot change the past but we can change the future. Once you understand that you can make your future much brighter than your past ever was, then you can start to grow and change as a person.

Commit to improving yourself by 1% per day, everyday, until you are the best version of you. Then, when you feel that you are the best you can be, put that 1% per  day into maintaining that sense of self you have created. You will feel much happier and healthier mentally when you do so.

Love yourself wholly enough to look at yourself completely. When you make peace with who you used to be, you can become who you NEED to be and your world will become a brighter place.

You can do it.

The Mistakes You Make

a3a1e0eed2fb61b29d4eef4c2c319caf.jpgI am slowly learning day by day, that we all make mistakes. Some are big and some are small, but we all make mistakes. All mistakes can be forgiven, but some can never be forgotten. When our mistakes impact the people in our lives negatively, we must not seek reconciliation, we must look within to discover what within us needs to change.

 

 

When you hurt someone, something is wrong with you. You are manifesting a negative feeling that you are projecting onto another person. The answer to fix the problem is always within yourself.

 

You may never win back the affection of the people you hurt and that is okay. It will hurt and make you sad but always remember that you cannot change the past. You can take the lesson you have learnt and apply it to the future and become a more positive individual. You will make new friends and meet new people. Make sure you don’t make the same mistake twice with the new people that you meet.

When you are happy and you love yourself from within, you won’t make the same mistakes. Remember this, people come into your life for a reason and some stay for only a season. Maybe your mistake caused their season to end abruptly. That’s okay. It just means that their reason was to teach you a lesson about something within yourself that you need to fix.

It’s okay. Learn. Move forward. Forgive yourself. Don’t repeat the mistake.

Day 15: Pray

“Remember the days you prayed for the things you have now”

This is simple. Always remember that even when times are rough and nothing is looking hopeful for you, think of all the things that you have today that you dreamed of when you were young. Be thankful for all the things you prayed for and pray for more because one day your dreams will come true.

Day 14: Transition

“Transitions are an inevitable part of life. We transition from childhood to adulthood. We transition from singleness to being married. We transition form working for others to life as am entrepreneur. Transitions are more complex than going from one season and entering another, but transitions are about successfully handling the time of the in-between”

Everyone goes through changes and challenges in life. In order to grow and improve as people, we need to learn from the things that we learn at the different stages in life. For me, going through a break up has been the biggest transitional moment of my life to date. Not only did I have to learn how to let go of someone I loved, but I also had to let go of a dream and I have never ever had to let go of a dream. Growing up, we are always told to hold on to our dreams to fight for the things we want. For the first time in my life, this didn’t hold true. Dreaming became more complex and I am in the phase of handling the in-between of that situation. I think that first love teaches you a lot about yourself, especially when you lose it. Learning about yourself, and learning how to love yourself is the most imperative way to transition successfully. The things you need will come to you in time, and that is the most important thing to understand. Love where you are today and work on yourself to move forward successfully. Happy Thursday ❤

Day 13: Weak

“Learn to celebrate your strengths, be prepared to address your weakness”

This is a simple one. Know what you are good at and use that to your advantage. Know what you aren’t great at, embrace it and work on it. This is the only way that you will be able to grow your intelligence and to teach others about what you know. Celebrate all that you are, and also all that you can be. You are as weak as you conceive yourself you be.

Day 12: Voicemail

“When the past calls, let it go to voicemail. It has nothing new to say.”

Lately, I have been in my head overthinking about the past. Thinking about what I would have said and done differently if I had the chance to do things all over again. I have learnt, slowly but surely, that all the mistakes that we make in life happen to teach us important lessons we need to learn. If we become introspective in our search for our selves, we will find a lot of meaning behind these lessons. We will find the ways in which we need to grow and change to become better people. I interpret this quote not as the past coming back in the form of a person, but the past coming back as your thoughts. You have thought about it and resolved it already. Now, just get your brain to put it away and move forward onto something new.

Day 11: Delay

“Behind every delay there is a miraculous explanation”

I think that this means that we need to be hopeful when things seem to be moving slowly and not necessarily going our way, we need to understand that sometimes there are delays in life in order to show us that good things are coming. We have to wait for good things to come to us in order to appreciate them more. Not all things that we want come quickly or easily and that is okay. Sometimes our greatest advances come from our biggest set backs.

Right now, I am trying to use my heartbreak to inspire changes and growth in my life. I know that it is time for me to move forward and progress from this and that positive changes will come when I invest in myself. The explanation for my delay is that I need to look introspectively at myself in order to mature for the future.

Day 10: Time

“God’s perspective is unlimited. His timelines extend past our comprehension”

I think this one is to show us that there are many different outlooks to take from different situations. There are many different ways in which something can be perceived or can happen for us. We need to stop expecting our plans for the future to take effect immediately when we can’t exactly predict the future. We need to have hope in the process and have faith that we will understand everything in due time.

“Man’s Rejection is God’s Protection”

“Man’s rejection, is God’s protection”

This is a quote that I have been living by lately.

Last week, I was listening to an episode of the Lady Gang podcast featuring Jeannie Mai from The Real. As I was listening, she was discussing a lost opportunity years prior to her success and how that rejection allowed her to find something better and more fulfilling. This quote was enlightening to me and I began to think about all of the times when rejection has spawned an otherwise positive outcome for me.

For example, I had been working in the same seasonal job position from my mid teens into my early 20’s. For the first time in 6 years, I was blindsided when I got an email that stated that my services would not be needed for that upcoming summer. I became frantic and depressed. I took the first job that was offered to me because I was so nervous to be unemployed, even though it wasn’t related to my field. When I went to job orientation, I became suddenly depressed and I knew that it wasn’t for me. I went home and cried but then I suddenly woke up and decided to apply to every job opportunity so that I could focus on my career and not my loss. When I opened my email, the company that I had previously interned at had a position open for me and I jumped at it! I have been there now for 3 years, working in my field of study and loving it.

The rejection in this case was my protection as it allowed me to grow in my career instead of basking in my comfort.

I think about my break up with my ex as well. His rejection was my protection. His rejection allowed me to self reflect and work on the parts of myself that weren’t so great. It also allowed me to learn that self love is the most important factor in life and that we can achieve this through a belief that we have the power to do all things because of a higher power (Call it God or not). I began to believe in the universe and this manifested into me believing in myself. I began to love the others around me more. Mostly, I learned to let go of people and negative situations that no longer served me.

I also learned what I did and didn’t want in a man so that hopefully I will get the chance to get love right in the future.

These were lessons I had to learn.

So, the next time you feel that getting declined for something is the worst thing in the world, always remember this: Man’s rejection is God’s Protection. You won’t see it right away, but you will soon see it manifest into a different and better opportunity.

Some articles:

http://theprayingwoman.com/sometimes-rejection-is-gods-protection/

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/maddisen-k-krown/coping-with-rejection_b_2586145.html

Day 9: Flu

“You cannot heal in the same environment where you got sick”

I think that this one is pretty self explanatory. I think that many of us have heard that popular phase, “Don’t go back to what broke you expecting to be fixed” or something like that. This phrase relates to me as I get over my breakup in the sense that the stress from the relationship and the after effects have made me sick mentally through overthinking and emotional pain. In order to move forward, it would serve me best not to look to the past for answers and solace, but to move forward in a more positive light. It takes time to get over sickness and in this case grief is my form of sickness. I need to change my environment (mindset) in order to cure myself of the pain and to grow stronger for the future.