Lately, I have been going through a very rough time emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I feel like nothing in my life can get better. Its hard to get out of bed in the morning. I am struggling with the most mundane of things. Yesterday, Khloe Kardashian (Yeah, I know but don’t judge), posted a series of tweets and honestly they calmed down my anxiety instantly. I hope that maybe this can resonate with you as well. We are not perfect human beings but maybe we can be better people and our lives can get better as well. I hope that this can happy for me in the future.
I went to New York City, in the middle of a Major Depressive Episode and I had the time of life.
I took very few pictures.
This blog post isn’t about me showing you what I did through a photo log or telling you stories, it is more about me explaining how this was the most informative journey I have taken in my life over the last year. I had a lot of realizations and I lot of moments of anxiety but I experienced something I genuinely hadn’t felt in over 8 months – Happiness. The great thing too is that when I came home to Toronto, a lot of good things began to come to me. I found some new friends (and I will write a blog post about that soon), I became more accepting of who I was, I understood what brought me to where I am today, and I called all the people that loved me. Somethings were hard to see but all revelations were beautiful in their own right. Here are the 10 feelings I had while in NYC:
- This is going to be a great trip – I was super excited to be taking this journey to a new City and to be experiencing something on my own that I have wanted to experience for a while again.
- Music on a long bus ride is Paramount – Having a great road trip playlist sets the foundation for any great trip.
- I miss my ex – This was the hardest part. We had always discussed going to NYC together and going without him at the time when we broke up last year was actually a really emotionally challenging thing to do.
- A Great AirBnb sets the stage – My airbnb was great and I was so grateful to have stayed there. It was actually sad to leave and I did cry a bit. I learned so much about myself in bed at night in that apartment in NYC. I will never forget.
- Harlem is great – Everyone should go.
- I am the most toxic person in my life – I was walking on Broadway, looking at all the couples together, and realizing that I could have had that today, if I didn’t over react and I tried to communicate better. Maybe if I hadn’t tried to hurt other people by writing mean things and forcing relationships, I would be more emotionally sound today.
- I decided to change my life – I realized that the past is the past and I could make my future so amazingly bright. I was in a new City where no one knew me and I could start a new chapter of a book right here. So, that’s what I did. I knew it wouldn’t be easy or be overnight, but I new that I had a blank page to start on. I was going to be a good person.
- I made a new friend – I found a new friend on the evening I committed to being a better person. I went to a comedy show alone. She had just recently gotten divorced and had come to NYC for a fresh start. We were both on each other page ones. We still talk till this day.
- I am only 23 – I haven’t ruined my life. I have been luckily brought to a place where I am old enough to understand my wrongs, yet young enough to still have enough time to correct them for the better. A change is gonna come and its going to be a blessing.
- The air smelled like him and I cried in front of his favourite store – This trip didn’t heal wounds, but it allowed me to accept all of my wrongs, put forth the effort to change them, and to put faith into the universe. Maybe I will always love him and that will always be okay. I realized that he will always be a part of me and that is okay. Time may not heal all wounds, but time made me realize that everywhere offers you a fresh start and that there is beauty in all things.
Thank you for reading.
Today, I listened to Corey Calliet’s Instagram video where he discussed the two things we need to be successful in life: Motivation and Encouragement. We get encouragement from others and that’s why we need to surround ourselves with positive and supportive people. We also need to then find motivation and that comes from within. These are Corey’s 4 principles for staying motivated:
You need these 4 principles plus encouragement to find success in anything you do.
Preparation + Opportunity = Luck
Stay lucky. Stay Motivated. Be Encouraging.
“Remember the days you prayed for the things you have now”
This is simple. Always remember that even when times are rough and nothing is looking hopeful for you, think of all the things that you have today that you dreamed of when you were young. Be thankful for all the things you prayed for and pray for more because one day your dreams will come true.
“Transitions are an inevitable part of life. We transition from childhood to adulthood. We transition from singleness to being married. We transition form working for others to life as am entrepreneur. Transitions are more complex than going from one season and entering another, but transitions are about successfully handling the time of the in-between”
Everyone goes through changes and challenges in life. In order to grow and improve as people, we need to learn from the things that we learn at the different stages in life. For me, going through a break up has been the biggest transitional moment of my life to date. Not only did I have to learn how to let go of someone I loved, but I also had to let go of a dream and I have never ever had to let go of a dream. Growing up, we are always told to hold on to our dreams to fight for the things we want. For the first time in my life, this didn’t hold true. Dreaming became more complex and I am in the phase of handling the in-between of that situation. I think that first love teaches you a lot about yourself, especially when you lose it. Learning about yourself, and learning how to love yourself is the most imperative way to transition successfully. The things you need will come to you in time, and that is the most important thing to understand. Love where you are today and work on yourself to move forward successfully. Happy Thursday ❤