Goodbye #GirlSquad

I feel like I am always in a predicament with people and friends. I am either losing them or fighting with them. Since my breakup, which I now understand the part I played in, I have found that I have had drama with my friends without even really trying. Its like I attract it just by saying something or anything.

And then I realized something.

These just were not my people.

I think if they were my people, they would invite and include me in things so I didn’t feel more alone. I think that they would tell people my ideas instead of trading them off as their own. I think they would check in on me more. I think they wouldn’t say mean things and I think they would respect me more. I wouldn’t feel like an outsider when I am with them.

Realizing that you have to let go of your girl squad is hard as fuck but sometimes its necessary. I believe that there are people out there in the world for you and for me and I will find them. Maybe not today but hopefully soon.

To be honest, none of this will matter my 30 and knowing this has taken a huge weight from off of my shoulders.

Van Morrison Playlist

To be honest, I have been going through a lot lately and I don’t exactly know how I feel about some things. I was watching my favourite show, This Is Us, and this song came on and it was as if I found clarity and peace within myself, even if it was only for one minute. When I later googled it, it was called Into the Mystic by Van Morrison. I listened and listened to this song over and over again on repeat and I felt calmer each time I did and I felt at peace each time I did. Time stopped for a moment and everything was finally okay. Then I went searching for more of his music and actually stumbled upon a few that I was quite familiar with. I made this playlist of my top 6 Van Morrison songs to help me calm down when I am stressed and anxious. You can access them via Spotify below. Happy listening!


Take Me to Church

Take Me to Church is a song made popular by Hozier, an indie rock singer. This is one of the most artistic pieces of music I have heard in a long time. It is a beautifully dark and the music video compliments it very well. The song brings to light how religion has shaped our belief system to the point that people feel like they are not “normal” if they do not fall in line to the expectations. The music video depicts a homosexual couple who have to hide their relationship due to the religious beliefs of their community. ¬†However, they are suspected of being together and one is murdered by a group of masked men at the end of the video. This video does show an extreme depiction of how homophobia can be a detrimental belief, yet I feel that it was shown in a very realistic way.

I’m surprised that I have not heard this song before because it truly is great lyrically and vocally. There is a powerful presence to it and a sense of strong preaching that is not heard in a lot of today’s music. It truly is a great piece of music. Really analyze the lyrics along with the video when you listen to this to absorb the songs full effect.

Notable lyrics: “Every Sunday’s getting more bleak, A fresh poison each week, ‘We were born sick’, you heard them say it”

This line references to how religion has taught us that we are sinful and we need to consistently worship in order to become more pure people. From the Sunday worship reference we can infer that Hozier is discussing the Christian religion as this is the common day for Church. This song has a lot of allegorical references and allusions in the lyrics, which bring more of an understanding to songs title and video.

Breathe Me

This is probably going to be the deepest blog post I have ever written. I remember in Grade 5 when I first heard this song, and I had to excuse myself to go to the washroom and cry because every word of this song was so…relevant, true, relatable. It was the first time in my life that I had heard my life in words; it was the first time that I had every lived my life out through song. I really didn’t know how to feel. I think that this was the first time that I learnt that I could experience profound feelings through the music and that I could relate to music because not all songs were by the Spice Girls or Britney Spears. I had been bullied for many years of my elementary school life. I wasn’t thin, I wasn’t pretty, I wasn’t tall, I wasn’t rich…I wasn’t “It”. I was alone. Every time that I listen to this song till this day, I remember being pushed and kicked down the hill from my bully because I wasn’t “good enough”. I remember sitting in the far corner of the field alone because no one wanted to play with me. I remember sitting in a puddle of coca cola and soaking my pants just so that I would be accepted into a friendship group even if only for a minute. Most profoundly, I remember being…alone.

Breathe Me – Sia

You’ll Be In My Heart

A little Phil Collins to drown your sadness in tonight? Well, I just found out that Nelson Mandela, my idol, has passed away. Although I knew that this was expected at his age, I just didn’t…well expect it. I am extremely saddened by this news as I know many around the world are tonight. As I was watching CNN and other news sources (Twitter) discuss the death of Mandela, I just couldn’t help but hear “You’ll Be In My Heart” playing in my head. I was thinking about Tarzan, and how he lost his family and was never really accepted by people because he was raised differently. The one thing that he learnt probably better than the others from his childhood was how to love and share love. That reminded me of Mandela and he will continue to be in my heart. You see, his message is universal, strong, and powerful. He alone moved mountains and caused change that I could never even consider doing. His power changed and saved the lives of many and made the world a little bit of a better place. There are few people like Mandela in the world; there will probably not be another like Mandela in our lifetimes. If we take his teachings with us day by day, we can all help to make the world a little bit of a better place.


I love this song. Its so dark, gloomy and haunting. Lorde’s song Royals, brings something new to mainstream music. It is different from the typical pop music that we hear today. In fact, the lyrics talk about how people in society are underprivileged but choose to live like we are otherwise. It also alludes to the positives and the negatives of such a mentality. The music video for this song is also just as strange as it features 2 young boys doing… less that ‘royal’ things. Anyways, I think that the music video compliments the song in a good way. I love the message of this song in general and it shows that Lorde is an artistic lyricist with vision.




Same Love

I am absolutely in love with Mackelmore and Ryan Lewis right now. Even more so, I am in love with this song. On my daily TTC commutes to school this week, I have found myself listening to this song on repeat. Not only is the beat amazing (props to Lewis), but the lyrics of this song are even more profound. This song is about gay right and equality. Although Mackelmore is American, I think that this song was written to show the issues that homosexuals face in all parts of the world. This song perfectly paints a picture of the struggle and discrimination that is faced in this group of individuals. I love this song even more because it has made an issue that many refuse or dislike to talk about a mainstream discussion as one may listen to this song and reflect. Not only are Mackelmore’s lyrics just amazing, but the chorus, sung by Mary Lambert is even more beautiful; it completes the song. Lambert is a lesbian, and her line “she keeps me warm” is descriptive of how her love with her partner is just as valuable as a heterosexual love. ¬†This song is just the perfect picture to be painted in this society today. We need to be open to the issues of social change and equality. I love this song, and it truly is one of the most memorable songs I have ever listened to. Great one Mackelmore, Great one.