3 Things (08/06/2018)

  1. On Saturday, after 5 months of radio silence, my former best friend sent me a snapchat of all of my former friends hanging out. I wouldn’t open this until the Tuesday, the day of Kate Spade’s suicide attempt. I opened the snapchat with the hope that there would be a warm message inside. I hoped that maybe he would care and it would be a “Hi, how are you?” kind of message. I hoped that after all this time there would be some semblance of love and care still there. Instead, already in a state of depression, I felt as if my former life was being rubbed into my face. I felt as if the gesture (which I think it was) was quite insensitive. I became mad and I did what I normally do – I lashed out and he deleted me as a friend. Our last connection was gone. While I should feel sad, I don’t. I feel a sense of loss, but this time it isn’t sadness. If a person can see you at your lowest point and not ask you how you are doing or even reach out after 5 months, are they really worth a spot in your life. Let it go – and I have. I may be a lot to deal with, and I may not have had the best mental health for a while after my break up, but I really did love my best friend. Goodbye dude. Thank you for everything. (I will write a goodbye letter soon)
  2. I had an amazing job interview today. I really hope that I get the position. I have been trying very hard to work on myself and my happiness lately. I hope that it shows.
  3. I really need to lose the weight this time. I do not like the weight in my face. It doesn’t make me feel beautiful to have this excess weight. I want to feel pretty.
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